The First Time
by GreaserGirlForever
Summary: What happens when Ponyboy falls in love with his best friend and she doesn't even know? Could she be feeling the same way, or is he destined to be in the friend zone forever? And what happens when Soda gets involved? Read to find out! My first story
1. Wrestling Matches and Surprises

**Disclaimer: No, I do not own 'The Outsiders' nor do I own any of the characters. I only own Jamie. So HA! And please, no flames. It's my first story and I just needed to get it out. So R&R and I hope you like it.**

* * *

"One! Two! Three! Ladies and gentlemen! I am proud to introduce the World Wrestling Champion, Darrel Curtis!" Two-Bit announced. Everyone clapped and cheered as Darry had Sodapop pinned down on his stomach with his hands at his sides. "Anymore takers?" 

I raised my hand, "I'll take a shot."

"Jamie, I don't wanna hurt you or nothin'." Darry started but Two-Bit interrupted him.

"Darry, you ain't gotta worry about baby cousin over there. She may be fourteen but she's tough. Just do the best you can and pray to God that you don't get your leg broken in the process."

"Alright lady and gentleman. I want a clean, fair wrestling match. No broken bones, no bloody noses, and no popped joints. You got that Jamie?" Two-Bit said. I rolled my eyes. "I can't believe you're still not over that."

Steve hit his ice cream spoon to a large pot to signal the start of the wrestling match. He started to charge towards me but I got on my back and flipped him over with my feet so he landed a few feet away from my head. "C'mon Darry, I know you can do better than that." I got up again, watching Darry grinning with amusement. After a while of him trying to pin me, I had him in a headlock.

"Ja-mie! Ja-mie!" Pony, Steve, and Soda cheered from the couch.

I flipped him over and pinned his hands to his back.

"One! Two! Three!" Two-Bit announced, "Boys, we have ourselves a new World Champ! Jamie Sanders everybody!" I heard loud cheers as I collapsed next to Ponyboy on the couch.

"You are one tough kid, Jamie. Where'd you learn those moves?" Darry said panting heavily.

"Growing up with a cousin like Two-Bit over here, you learn a few things." Everyone laughed and started playing cards and watching T.V. Cousin did love his Mickey Mouse.

At about midnight, everyone left home and it was just me, Darry, Sodapop, and Pony left.

"You ain't gonna go home Jamie?" Ponyboy asked. "Nah. My parents ain't gonna notice I ain't there. I'd rather stay here than do nothin' at my house."

I walked into the kitchen and looked around in the fridge for a beer. If it was one thing that me and Two-Bit had in common, it was drinking beer. "Y'all ain't got no beer?"

"I got the last one!" Soda yelled from the couch. I walked back into the living room and snatched the beer from Sodapop. "Thank you."

"Hey!"

"Quit your gabbin'."

"I'll arm wrestle you for it." He said seriously.

"You're joshin' me." I said taking a swig of beer.

"Naw, I'm serious. Right here, right now."

"Soda, you ain't gonna win." Darry said from the kitchen.

"Watch me."

"Alright Soda. Don't say I didn't warn ya." We walked over to the table.

"Ready?" I asked Soda when we got our arms ready. "Ready. Go!" Soda was struggling real hard and started taking me down, "You're real strong," Soda laughed. I put in the rest of my strength to take him down. "I win." I said taking another swig of beer. "How does this girl do it?" Said Soda rubbing his shoulder.

* * *

Ponyboy's P.O.V 

I walked into the kitchen to get a bowl of ice cream to soothe my throat from screaming and cheerin' so much.

Man, seein' Jamie so happy makes me smile. She's not really noticed at home. Sort of, neglected, if ya know what I mean. But when she's with us and laughing and smiling and all, it's like she glows. And she always tells us how great we are and how grateful she is to be friends with us.

Truth is, I think I might like that girl. I'm closer to her than I am to anybody else and when I'm with her, it's like my whole world comes together piece by piece. I talk to her about anything and everything and she don't think the things I like are stupid or out of reach. She always said, "Pony, you can do whatever you want because, look around, there ain't no one here to stop you." That girl has a positive attitude that reminds me of Two-Bit. Always jokin' around and making everyone smile. She's one of those girls who is beautiful on the inside and outside but could turn real nasty if you got on her bad side.

"Pony? You alright?" She asked me. "You're lettin' your ice cream melt." Which was true because my ice cream looked more like soup now. "You always got your head in the clouds, huh Pony?" And she smiled at me. Man.. That smile. When she smiles like that it makes me feel like everything's gonna be alright. She don't like me… But there's a little voice in the back of my head nagging at me,

'You never know...'

But I know that's impossible.

_Still remember when I first saw her face,_

_It was just your average day_

_It was May or maybe June I think I remember,_

_Ran home and told my mom I was in love_

_She said boy, you're just too young to even understand the word_

_And I don't think you're in it at all_

_It was the first time in my life that I_

_Had ever felt this way inside_

_And I knew that it was real_

_It was the first time_

_Just like the snow fall coming down in June_

_Impossible but it could be true_

_And I knew that it was real_

_It was the first time_

_

* * *

_

Jamie's P.O.V

I headed back onto the couch and Soda threw a blanket at me. "Sleep good Jamie."

"Thanks Soda."

He smiled and headed down to his and Ponyboy's room. I knew Pony was still in the kitchen, probably slurping up his ice cream soup. Ha-ha..

Man, that boy. I could swear sometimes he's in his own world. He's always day dreaming and thinking up the craziest things. And the thing about him is, in my eyes, he's more handsome than Sodapop could ever be. Just the way he talks sometimes.. Man, that boy could really dream. I like that about him though, he's sweet, funny, and don't always think you gotta kick a guy in the head to straighten things out. That's why he's my best friend.

'Don't tell him that...'

Who is that?

'The Easter Bunny… Your conscience you idiot.'

Well sor-ry.

"You ain't gonna go to sleep now Pony?" I asked, because he usually goes to sleep earlier than most of us.

"Yeah, I'm headin' up right now." He yawned and put his bowl in the sink.

"Night Ponyboy Curtis." I walked over and gave him a hug good night.

"G'night Jamie Sanders." He gave me a tight squeeze before walking down to his room. And before I knew it I was on the couch.. Nightmaring unpleasantly.

_"Pony! Run!" I said while we were sprinting down the deserted street. "Run and keep running!"_

_"No! I can't leave you!" He said tears rolling down his face._

_"Yes you can Pony! Yes you can! I'll hold them off but I want you to keep running!" I yelled, frustrated that he was being so stubborn. He nodded and ran ahead of me. _

_"Greasers! Where ya goin'! Don't ya wanna see what's behind door number one!" And as I pushed Pony forward more, all I heard was a gunshot and darkness fell…_

I sat bolt upright, whispering Pony's name and breathing heavily. I went to open his door very quietly, turning the doorknob slowly. Peering inside, he and Soda were sleeping soundly.

I sighed.

"Jamie?" Ponyboy whispered. I tip toed over to him. "Shh... Pony. Go back to sleep."

"No, what's wrong?" He said rubbing his eyes.

"It was nothing Pony. Just go back to sleep." I said, trying to tuck him back in.

"Naw, it's okay. I'm awake now. I'll stay up with you." He climbed out of bed stretching.

"Thanks Pony." We walked back to the couch and sat down. I rested my head on Pony's chest and he stroked my hair. "Now, tell me what's wrong."

"Just a bad dream is all, Pony." I said yawning. "You sure you're alright Jamie?" He asked. "Just stay with me and I'll be fine." And I fell asleep to his steady heart beat.

Next morning:

"Awww! Look, it's Sleeping Beauty and Prince Charming!" I had awaken toSteve hollering. It was weird, becuase you would usually hear this kind of stuff from Two-Bit.

"Shut up, Steve." I muttered as I stood up and stretched, seeing Ponyboy stirring. "Pony! Get up!" He frowned, "Why?" Pulling the blankets towards him. "Because I'm boss and I said so. Ya dig?" He pulled himself up.

"That's what I thought." I said joking around with him. "Hey cousin, I got somethin' to tell ya." Two-Bit muttered sadly. "Sure cousin." He led me outside on the porch and closed the door so no one could hear.

"What's wrong Two-Bit?"

"Jamie, umm, ma and Auntie Linda were talking last night." He said hesitantly.

"So? They're sisters they talk all the time. Just like you and me."

"Yeah, but I overheard a few things and, I don't think you'll be staying here very long." He hung his head.

"Whadda ya mean I ain't gon' be stayin' here long?"

"Auntie Linda is talkin' bout movin' y'all to Texas and.. and she don't plan on comin' back." Pulling up his head, he looked at me with unshed tears in his eyes.

Texas? I couldn't leave Tulsa.

A lump was developing in my throat. "W-Where in Texas?"

"Dallas."

I looked at my cousin again. One stray tear rolled down his cheek. Unable to take the silence, I chimed, "Man, Dallas ain't that far away and-"

"And nothin' Jamie! We grew up together and went through everything together. We's is best friends and I don't wanna lose you, not now. I can't stand it. We lost Johnny, and Dally, now you."

"Aw c'mon Two-Bit I ain't dyin'. I'll always come visit."

"Jamie, you're never going to visit because your mom won't let you. I know it and you know it too." He stormed inside to the kitchen leaving me out on the porch.

Two-Bit was right, I ain't never gonna visit because my ma will never let me. She don't like this town. She told me the first time we came here when I was three, "It's too dirty. And look at all these hoods! Never in my life.." She was a Soc growin' up and I just ain't like that. Fancy cars, bein' a cheerleader with a skirt that's way too high and a sweater that's always itchy: that ain't the life for me. I'm too wild, too.. hood. Ain't no way am I goin' to God damn Dallas and that's final.

I hope...


	2. Unpleasant Visits

"Hey Jamie, what's wrong?" Pony asked when he walked through the screen door. 

"It ain't nothin' Ponyboy. I'm fine." Boy, was I lyin' through my teeth.

"Yes it is somethin'. Now tell me what's wrong." He lit a cancer stick. I sighed. I could never get anything past him.

"C'mon Pony. Let's go for a walk."

"Alright." he said following me down the stairs into the street, "What's on your mind?"

Should I tell him? Maybe it's gonna make him sad or, maybe he wouldn't care. Oh what am I talking about? Of course he'll care. It's Ponyboy Curtis we're talking about here.

"Pony, I'm leaving." I said sadly.

"What?" He asked. He stopped walking.

"Ponyboy I'm leaving. As in going away. Moving. And I ain't comin' back."

He frowned. "What? Where are you going?"

I could detect the hint of sadness in his voice. It was almost too much to bear.

"Aw Pony. We've had a lot of great times growing up and you wouldn't forget me, would you?"

"I'd never forget you Jamie." He smiled.

"See? You're smiling already!"

"I know I'm smiling, but when you leave it's gonna be hard to do that anymore."

I felt a pang in my heart. What was I feeling in my chest? Was it… No. It couldn't be. I couldn't possibly be feeling love for him. Well, I always loved him as a brother and all but I mean I've never felt that kind of love. Like the kind you see in the movies where the girl falls head over heels for the guy of her dreams. Nah, I couldn't be feeling that kind of love. I'm just sad that I'm leaving.

"When are ya headed out?"

"I don't know. I just found out this morning."

We walked for a few more blocks talking and reminiscing until we got back home.

"I better head home. Mom might actually come home today." I said sarcastically, knowing that would never happen.

"Alright. I'll see you tomorrow."

I ran in, grabbed my things, and then ran home.

I couldn't love Pony, could I? He's too sweet, too sensitive, too much of a great guy to be dating trash like me. This is all coming too fast! I can't see myself with him, holding hands and kissing. It's just... Not that bad... Man! What is making me think like this? What is triggering these emotions? Snap out of it Jamie. It's Ponyboy we're talking abut here. The guy that is practically your brother. The guy who you talk to about everything. The guy that has the most beautiful eyes anyone has ever- Glory! I need to control my thoughts more.

I saw that the lights of the house were on and a red mustang was in the driveway. "What the hell? Is that mom's car?"

Running inside, I was shocked to see my mother eating lunch and not in a hurry. "Oh Jamie! Come sit down with me! Here, have some spaghetti! Your favorite!" I looked at her confused. This was probably the most awkward moment in my life, actually seeing my mom talking to me. When she first spoke I couldn't recognize it as my mother. "Umm... alright..." I walked over slowly and sat down.

"Your cousin probably told you that we were moving to Dallas right?" If it was one thing she knew about me, she knew me Two-Bit told everything to each other.

"Yeah. When are we leaving?" I asked, not wanting to believe it.

"Next month when we get the money." She noticed my eyes were starting to well up with tears. She looked confused, as if not knowing what to do. I wouldn't be surprised if she really didn't. She isn't the best mother in the world, ya know.

"Look Jamie, don't cry." But that wasn't stopping the stray tears from falling. "Just, I don't know. Go to your friend's house. You've been locked in your room all week." Now it was my turn to look confused.

"What?" I asked, wondering what she meant. I haven't been home all week.

"You haven't come out of your room all week. You have been so quiet and you were so peaceful, we didn't want to disturb you."

My tears of sadness turned into tears of anger. "Maybe I will go to my friend's house because obviously, they care about me more than you and dad do!" And with that I stormed out of my house, leaving her sad and confused.

Was she serious? She had to be kidding. Does she really think that I have been in my room all week without food or water? Even if she did, she didn't even bother to check on me? What kind of a mother is she?

I used my spare key to Two-Bit's house and ran in. "Cousin! You home!" I yelled through the house. No one is home except Two-Bit so I really didn't care how loud I screamed.

"Yeah! Up in my room!"

"Can you come down here please!"

I paced the living room, thinking about how stupid I could be to even think that my mom would actually consider the thought that I was in my room all week. Without knowing it, tears started rolling down my face.

"Jamie? You okay?" Two-Bit asked when he jumped down the stairs.

My face went into an automatic frown and I shook my head. He ran forward and took me in his arms. "I don't want to go back Two-Bit! Don't make me go back! Don't make me go back..."

"Shh… It's alright. I'm here. You can stay here as long as you want." He rocked me back and forth until I fell into a deep sleep.

"Hey, cousin. Time to wake up."

"Is it morning?"

"No stupid. It's dinner time." He set down the tray on the nightstand next to his bed.

"I'm sorry," I started, "I didn't mean to just barge in on y'all. I just couldn't take it at home. I don't think they love me anymore."

"Who? Uncle Tim and Auntie Linda? Of course they love you. They just aren't home a whole lot."

"That's the point though." I said a frown on my face, "They're never home; they never pay attention to me. What did I do? I've been good I do my chores, I clean my room, I do the dishes, I never speak back, what did I do? What do I do to make them drift away from me like that? How stupid could I get?"

"Look Jamie, you're the best daughter and cousin anyone could ask for. Just don't think that way." He sat down next to me and hugged me. "Thanks Two-Bit. I love you." He smiled. "I know you do." I laughed at his childish ways and we started talking about everything that happened that day while I ate my T.V dinner.

* * *

Waking up the next morning, I saw Two-Bit sleeping next to me snoring. I shook my head and walked across the hall to the bathroom. It didn't seem like anyone was awake so I kept quiet. I splashed my face, trying to rid any sleepiness from my face.

"Jamie?" I heard from the hallway. Turning around, I saw my aunt was in the hallway, looking rather sleepy, "How are you dear?"

"Fine, and you?"

"I'm good," she paused for a minute and walked into the bathroom, "I heard about the situation between you and your mom. She told me last night."

"Really?" I said with an attitude. She's my auntie and all, but I don't feel like talking about it this morning. "What'd she say? I was stupid? Arrogant? Irresponsible? Tell me I'd really like to know."

"Of course not!" She said seriously, "She misses you and she's confused. She wants you home."

I paused. "She's confused? What is so confusing about this? She makes me leave my home town, my friends, and my favorite cousin without ever letting me see them again. There really ain't no brainwork there."

"She said she tried to explain that she was gone at work trying to make money to pay the bills and you got mad and stormed out."

Fury was coursing through my veins, "Anything else she claimed she did?"

"She also said she tried being a good mother but you didn't appreciate her enou-"

"A good mother? HER? Are you kidding me? This is the woman who didn't even have enough decency to check on her child when she was gone late! The woman who would ignore her daughter for no good reason! You call that a good mother?" I pushed past her and thrashed open the door.

"Jamie?" I heard Two-Bit call from his room. I answered by slamming the front door shut, hoping to get my things later.

One thing hit me when I was walking down that street. Where would I go? What would I do? Where would I stay?

First stop, the Curtis' house. Then again I thought. They have a hard enough time feeding three boys who eat like horses, but a girl who eats just as much? That is a big hassle for them. I'd feel real bad if I had to stay there. No where else I can think of though.

I walked in and was sure no one was awake yet. Walking into the kitchen, I opened the fridge and saw there was barely any food. I dug around in my pockets to try and find at least some money. The most I could get from my pockets was twenty dollars. I was supposed to use that to get new clothes but, whatever. I could always get new clothes later.

* * *

Ponyboy's P.O.V.

When I woke up and headed into the kitchen, something was different. It was clean. Real clean. No dirty dishes, the floor was swept, and I could swear someone took out the garbage. And to be any weirder, the fridge was full. There was chocolate milk, juice, eggs, beer, vegetables, and fruits. This was too good to be true. I looked up in the freezer and there was ice cream and frozen meats that would last us a month! This is crazy! What smells so good?

I walked to the dining table and there was a freshly baked chocolate cake with eggs, just the way we like them, and there were sausages and ham too! The plates and silverware were set for three of us and there was another pitcher of juice on the table.

"Whoa, what happened?" I heard Darry say from the doorway.

"I don't know." I said confused.

"I do," Said Soda pointing to the other room, "Look over there."

We all looked at the couch and saw Jamie fast asleep with a rag in her hand and a spoon in the other.

Soda opened the fridge and looked like he could dance. "We're loaded!"

Darry walked over to the couch and shook Jamie. "Jamie, time to wake up," he said. She grunted and slowly sat up and looked at us weird. "What time is it?"

"Umm.. Looks like it's ten." Darry said looking at his watch.

"I'm going back to bed."

"Why? It's already late."

"Darry, I went to sleep twenty minutes ago. I'm going back to bed."

"Yeah. Alright. But I wanna talk to you when I get back home today." He walked out of the door and she collapsed back on the couch, throwing the rag on the floor.

* * *

Jamie's P.O.V

Do you know how tired I am? Do you know how absolutely exhausted I am? I have been up trying to fix their house? You are all probably thinking, "Well, you decided to!" That's right. I did decide to. But I never thought it would be that hard. Mmm.. Soft pillows...

* * *

Soda's P.O.V.

WE'RE LOADED!


	3. Mixed Emotions for Sodapop

**This chapter is dedicated to my friend Jamila Aldrich who loves The Outsiders (Ponyboy especially), Harry Potter and Forrest Gump (That's Hot)

* * *

I woke up around 7:00pm. It was dead silent in the house, but they had to be home. It was too late for them to go anywhere unless they went to a movie, but I doubt it.**

"Jamie?"

I turned around to see Darry with a tired expression on his face.

"You okay Darry?" I asked.

"Yeah but I wanna talk-"

"Where's Ponyboy and Sodapop?" I interrupted.

"They're outside, look Jamie, I wanna talk to you."

I furrowed my eyebrow, "Is everything alright?" I sat up when Darry sat down next to me on the couch.

"I know you just want to help us but please, don't spend your money on us."

"Look Darry, it's fine-"

"No, it's not. I don't want you to spend money like that on us."

"Darry, if you think you have to pay me back any money, you don't have to. It's fine. I'll get a job an-"

"No, no. I just don't want you to waste your money. Save it for something more important. Like for school."

I rolled my eyes, "Darry, I ain't goin' back to school and you know it."

"Yes you are!" He shouted and stood up. You are getting an education like Ponyboy and you-"

"I'm not going back to school Darry! I don't belong there! You don't know what it's like for me there!"

"I don't care!" He shouted louder. "You are going to go back to school and that's final young-"

"YOU ARE NOT MY FATHER!" I screamed as loud as I could.

Everything got silent. Tears started forming in my eyes. How could I say that? He has practically taken me in and treated me like I was his daughter and I go and yell at him that he's not my father? It was just all the screaming, and he was forcing me to do something I didn't want to do, I dunno.

Darry blinked and walked to his room at a quick pace silently. I wondered why he didn't yell at me. Why wasn't he yelling and shouting at me for saying something so horrible about him?

Ponyboy had stormed into the house looking heated and Soda was following him, calling his name as if trying to explain something to him. Whatever it was, Soda seemed desperate. They went into their room and shut the door to their room, leaving me where I was before. On the couch, the silence ringing in my ears, and alone.

I knew why Darry did what he did when I finally came to my sense. I always knew that Darry wanted Ponyboy and Soda to get an education and Pony went along with it but I guess Soda was like me. He thought he was dumb. He was smart if he put his mind to it. But, things just didn't work out.

I just didn't belong in school. I couldn't stand being the only kid not understanding anything they were reading or listening to. When the teacher asked me a question it was like they asked me in a different language. The only things I could do well were fix cars and run. That was it. I've often thought about working at the DX with Steve and Soda for some extra money.

I guess I'll have to sleep on it. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day….

* * *

Ponyboy's P.O.V

Darry sent me and Soda outside for a while so he could talk to Jamie alone. I looked over at Soda, who was staring into space, and thought of an idea. Soda was good with girls right? He has them all over him 24/7; he should know some things at least.

"Soda, I gotta ask you a question." I said hesitantly.

"Yeah, shoot kid, what's it about?" He asked curiously. I've talked to Soda about everything else but girls. It just never came up because I've never really wanted to talk about them.

"It's about Jamie."

"Yeah, what about her?" He asked again.

"Well I-I think I might like her, but I'm just… I dunno. I'm all mixed up.

Soda smirked and laughed a little.

"What's so funny?" I asked a little angry. Was he making fun of me? I don't see anything amusing.

"My kid brother is finally asking me for girl advice… I've always dreamed about this day. But, what do you need to know? Is something keeping you from liking her?"

"No-"

"Good, because you shouldn't have one."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "What do you mean I shouldn't have one?"

"Well, she's really gorgeous, smart, funny… She's a pretty good girl if you ask me."

Was I hearing him right? This isn't possible. Soda couldn't like Jamie, could he? She's a whole three years behind him! He's never talked like that about any other girl except Sandy.

"Really? You think she's a nice girl?" I asked, trying to get some answers.

"Well yeah, Just look at her."

I took a long drag on my cigarette.

"You should go after her then."

"What-"

"I don't want to get in the way." I started to stand up but Soda stopped me.

"What's wrong with you Pony?" He asked, really looking confused.

"You like Jamie that's what. I can't believe you Soda! She's a whole three years younger than you, I have a crush on her, and you still like her!"

"Pony I was just trying to help you decide your feelings for her. Saying nice things about her is apart of that."

"Well I don't like it. I still think you have feelings for her so I'll stay out of your way and you can have her!" And with that I stormed inside the house with Soda trailing behind me.

* * *

Sodapop's P.O.V

While I followed Ponyboy in the house I thought, was I really getting feelings for her? Maybe I am, but Pony's right, I'm too old for her and he likes her. But she is _really _cute and she acts older for her age.

I see what Ponyboy sees in her, but it's starting to scare me. I don't want to like her, I don't want to have these feelings. This was Pony's crush and I should have just never said anything about it. I could just be in denial still from Sandy, but I'm still not sure. I'll forget about this in the morning and hopefully all is forgotten.

* * *

**OMG you guys I am soo sorry about not updating that much! I am just really busy this summer and I have rarely any time to write! I am just hope you guys forgive me! Please, promise the next chapter will be extra long. Well, at least I'll try! **

**Monica**


	4. Got Love?

I woke up to the smell of chocolate cake and eggs wafting from the kitchen. Mmm… Food sounds good right now. I stood up and stretched to wake myself up.

"Oh, morning Jamie." I heard from the kitchen.

"Morning Ponyboy." I replied, squinting into the bright morning sun pouring into the living room.

"Want some breakfast? He asked casually, flipping the eggs over.

"Sure, thanks Pony."

He brought in a slice of cake and a couple of eggs over easy, just the way I like it. "You're welcome."

He started walking away but stopped. "Anything wrong Jamie? You seem down." Good old Ponyboy, always making sure I'm alright.

"Me and Darry just had an argument the other night. Don't worry about it Pony." I said taking and bite of the warm chocolate.

"Well, what was it about?" He sat down next to me.

"Just about me going back to school, but I don't wanna talk about it. No offense Pony, but it's just not a good time." Taking another bite of chocolate cake I sighed.

I really did hate having Darry angry at me. We rarely ever had any fights and this was the first huge one. Never would I have imagined fighting with Darry and having said those things. I didn't mean to say it, emotions were running high and, I dunno, it all just slipped out.

Pony walked into the kitchen to finish making breakfast, leaving me to think.

Darry walked into the room, acting as if I wasn't there. My face went into an automatic frown and I honestly felt like crying. Knowing I hurt Darry so badly just made me want to break down on the floor in front of him and start apologizing like crazy. I had the urge, trust me.

"Morning Darry." Ponyboy said slowly, looking at us both. "Breakfast is on the table."

"Thanks Pony."

He looked over at me and said firmly, "Morning Jamie."

"Morning Darry."

He looked at me a second longer and walked into the other room to eat breakfast.

"Don't worry Jamie," Pony said, sitting down next to me. "Everything is going to be alright soon."

"I hope you're right Pony…" I said, trying to convince myself that what I just said was true. I finished my breakfast and slipped on a coat.

"Where are you goin'?" Pony asked with concern.

"Just got to visit Two-Bit. He has my clothes and I really need to go pick them up. I'll be back soon." and I walked out the door, still thinking hard.

* * *

"Hey cousin." I said while walking in to see Two-Bit sitting on the couch watching TV and drinking beer.

"Hey Jamie." Two-Bit immediately stood up and hugged me tightly. "I've been so worried about you."

"I'm okay Two-Bit. I just came to get my things. Before auntie gets home."

"Oh yeah…" He dashed up the stairs and came back down with all my clothes.

"Here ya go." He said handing them to me. "So you've been at Darry's house."

I frowned again and the feeling of breaking down was coming back to me. "Yeah…"

"What's got you down?"

"Oh, me and Darry just had an argument; it's not a big deal…" But it was. I was pissed at myself and I couldn't help but want to slap myself.

"Jamie, I didn't know. Tell me what happened."

We sat on the couch and I told him the whole story. The good thing about this was that Two-Bit listened to me and understood me more than anyone.

"Wow Jamie, you said some really hurtful stuff back there. You're makin' me wanna rush in my room. You should really apologize to him."

"Well that's really difficult to do when he can hardly stand to look at me." I said sadly.

"Look Jamie, just apologize. Well, try to at least. I know Darry, he'll listen.

"Yeah, I'll try."

I said good bye to Two-Bit and walked down the street to the Curtis' house. On my way there, I thought, what if this thing never gets resolved? What if Darry never forgives me? I would be emotionally scarred for life. That night had played over and over in my head and when I see myself yelling at Darry, I just want to slap myself. Just another imperfection of mine. I say things without thinking. If I had just slowed down and stayed calm enough to think, maybe I wouldn't have said those things and we wouldn't be in this predicament. I never would have hurt Darry and none of this would have happened. I am just so stupid…

"Hey Pony." I said, seeing him on the couch, twiddling his thumbs.

"Oh, hey Jamie." He replied back, looking really troubled. "Hey, I gotta talk to you bout Darry."

"Go ahead." I said, scared of what he might say.

"Me and Darry were talking today and after we talked, I asked him about your argument and he just ran outta here as fast as he could. He's really upset about it."

"Yeah, me too…" I said sitting next to him and hanging my head in shame. "I regret ever saying that and I wish I could take back every single word I said to him."

"Well, just talk to him. He's been really stressed out lately and I'm really worried about him."

"Yeah, I'll talk to him. When does he get home today?"

"'Round four. He gets off early today."

"Alright. Hey Pony, you wanna come and walk with me to the park? Come keep me company?" I asked him. I didn't feel too hot about walking by myself. The issue with the Socs has calmed down a little, but you would still get jumped if you were a known greaser.

"Yeah, sure. I ain't got anything better to do until Soda gets home anyways." And he jumped up from the couch and followed me outside.

I walked with him in silence for a while until-

"Man, movin' to Dallas seems like a good idea right now," I said bluntly.

"Why?"

"There ain't nothin' for me here Pony. If I move to Dallas, I can start over. Be a new person. No one knows me there and I can be anyone I want to be."

I saw Ponyboy frown from the corner of my eye. "But you're Jamie Sanders, and I like you like that."

"Yeah Pony, but like I said, I don't have anything here."

"You got the gang. We'll miss you when you leave."

"I'll miss you too Pony. All of you guys."

And what had happened will stay in my mind forever.

"Jamie, just don't forget us. We'll miss you a lot and just remember you always have a home here."

"Thanks Pony." And I smiled. I turned and hugged him tightly, hoping that this feeling would last. "I love you Ponyboy Curtis."

"I love you too, Jamie Sanders."

And at that very moment, at that very exact point in time, I felt… different. There were butterflies in my stomach, I couldn't really think straight, and this was all sending shivers down my spine. I felt like nothing in the world could hurt me because Ponyboy was there. I felt like time was stopping and all that was left was me and him. I felt… in love.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, I said it. I said it and it felt good. It felt great. No, it felt right. Saying 'I love you' to Ponyboy was so right, it couldn't be any more right than it already is. All the things that were happening to me like the butterflies and the tingles and the shivers, I loved every minute of it.

Everything left my mind all that could be contemplated was, "I love you." I just can't stop thinking about it. And you wanna know something else?

I love Ponyboy Curtis with all my heart. Savvy?

* * *

**Sorry if I dissappoint. I know it wasn't very long and if you wanted Soda then too bad! But like I said, I tried and I got plans today. I'll update soon though! I ono if it'll be long, but as long asI update it doesn't matter right?**

**Monica :**


	5. Not a Chapter But A MEMO

Ahh. It is a memo about the last chapter that many of you may have failed to consider.

Have you ever thought that even though Jamie chose Ponyboy, that Soda still has feelings? Hmm? Just take that into consideration for the next chapter...


	6. Bang bang!

Ponyboy's P.O.V 

Did she just say she loved me?

I haven't had no one say 'I love you' to me but mom, dad, Darry and Soda. What surprised me the most was I said, "I love you too." I don't say that too much. I usually say, "You too" or "Mhm, yeah." I've especially never said it to a girl. I'm still debating in my head if I meant it in a friendly way, or more than that.

"C'mon Ponyboy, let's swing."

Jamie ran over to her usual swing at the end and I occupied the one next to her. I lit a cancer stick and blew a smoke circle. I was thankful for the unusual silence we were stuck in so it gave me more time to think about what I was going to say next.

"Did you mean it?" She asked curiously.

"Mean what?" I asked clulessly.

"'I love you, too' Did you really mean it?"

It took me a while to respond. Maybe I really did mean it like that. Maybe I really did love Jamie.

"Yeah. I meant it." I said taking a long drag of smoke, "Did you mean it?"

"Yeah." She said smiling and biting the corner of her lip.

While I took another long drag on my cigarette, I looked at Jamie. I never noticed how perfectly brown her eyes were, or how smooth her skin looks. Her hair looks so soft I just want to reach out and touch it. That cute little smile that played on her lips made me nervous and weak in the knees. And the way the sun is hitting her just enhances her beauty.

"Ponyboy?" She asked, looking at me funny, "You got your head in the clouds again?" She laughed.

Her laugh made me smile and I said, "Yeah. Hey, let's head home now. I'm starvin'."

She nodded and we started walking home in the most comfortable silence imaginable while we stole glances at eachother.

"Hey, you're birthday's comin' up, right?" I asked curiously.

"Yeah.." She said dully, "Next month."

I frowned. I knew she was leavin' next month and I wished she really didn't have to.

* * *

Jamie's P.O.V

A sudden rush of sadness overcame me. I wouldn't even be with my best friends on my birthday. No home made chocolate cake from Soda. No birthday wrestling bashes from Darry and Two-Bit. No hanging out all day with Ponyboy and messing around. Some birthday this is going to be...

I heard a honking from a couple blocks behind us. I turned around to see a red mustang slowly approaching us with two guys haning their heads out of the window.

I faced forward again. "Pony, run." I muttered.

"What?" He asked.

"Run." I said again, hearing the mustang coming closer, "Run!"

We both shot off as a fast pace and started running faster and faster as the yeling and screaming of, "Filthy greasers!" was coming nearer.

I looked around and there were absolutley no people, which means no help. This was seeming all too farmiliar.

"Pony! Run!" I said while we were sprinting down the deserted street. "Run and keep running!"

"No! I can't leave you!" He said tears rolling down his face.

Oh God, please don't be exaclty like my dream..

"Yes you can Pony! Yes you can! I'll hold them off but I want you to keep running!" I yelled, frustrated that he was being so stubborn. He nodded and ran ahead of me.

"Greasers! Where ya goin'! Don't ya wanna see what's behind door number one!" I pushed Ponyboy forward more when I heard a gunshot and a pain in my back occured.

Well shit, this didn't happen in my dream.

"Got her!" They were yelling. I felt the blood trickling down my back but I didn't care, all I wanted was to get to the nearest hospital as soon as possible.

The Soc's had left and I stopped running, gasping for air. Ponyboy had been gasping for air and stopped too but he was supporting me.

"Jamie? Jamie!" I heard Steve yell. He ran up beside me and saw my back.

"What happened Pony?" Steve asked forcefully.

"Soc's... gun..." I heard him gasp out.

Steve picked me up and ran with Ponyboy ckose behind him. And the last thing I heard before I blacked out was, "God Jamie, stay with us."

* * *

Ponyboy's P.O.V

"So, doc, what's gonna happen here with Jamie?" Steve asked nervously. Steve really didn't like me too much, but Jamie is practically like his little sister and he couldn't let anything happen to her. And he's too worried to really care about me.

The doctor looked nervously at the clip board he carried in his arms, "Well, it's hard to say right now-"

"Whadda you mean it's hard to tell! Aren't y'all supposed to know stuff about these situations!"

"Yes," The doctor said scared, "But the bullet had nearly pierced her lung and it's hard to tell how much damage it really caused. Her surgery today helped, but it it's still hard to say. Plus she's exhausted, stressed... I don't know how much longer she'll last."

Steve started getting teary eyed but held it back and sat back down next to me, holding his head up with one hand. I didn't want to say anything, because I wasn't sure what to say. Steve is like Dally in a way. I got Darry and Soda, Dally had Johnny, Two-Bit has Jamie, and Steve sorta shared Jamie with Two-Bit. It's not fair to him. Even though he is best friends with Soda, it don't really make up for being an only child and Jamie was always there for Steve.

"Where is she! WHERE IS SHE?" Two-Bit barged into the waiting room, yelling at us.

"Can I help you, sir?" Said a nurse walking by.

"Jamie Sanders. What room?" He asked hurriedly walking up to her.

"Umm.. Sanders... Ah. Room 109. Only family are allowed to see her. Are you related to her?"

"Yeah, she's my cousin."

"Alright," She said writing on a piece of paper and putting it on Two-Bit's shirt, "You can go in. But you two," She said pointing to me and Steve, "You can't go."

"Why not!" Steve almost screamed.

"Only family." She said firmly.

"Umm, no offense miss, but we are family," I said, almost breaking down in tears. Being in this hospital gave me too many memories.

She looked at us in a weird way before saying we could go in and she gave us the same papers on our shirt.

We all ran to her room all the way down the hallway in 'Critical Condition' until we saw the name Jamie Sanders on the door written on a clipboard. We slowly walked in to see Jamie hooked up to loud bleeping machines that blinked and moved and did whatever they were supposed to do. It hurt for me to see her like this. No one wants to see their best friend hooked up to so many tubes.

A nurse walked in with a clipboard and started writing notes while we watched silently.

"Nurse, can you please tell us what's really the matter with her?" Two-Bit asked with a shaky and cracked voice.

She looked down at her clipboard and stared hard.

"Umm.. It seems that her lung had been nearly pierced by a bullet and has damaged an artery and she has suffered partial damage to her lung." She stopped and looked at us. We all had tears in our eyes and mine were coming down the hardest.

"Look boys, this is something that really can be fixed. Her surgery today should help her heal until her second surgery tomorrow-"

"MAYBE SHE WON'T LAST THAT LONG!" Two-Bit yelled. "SHE COULD DIE TODAY! DON'T YOU PEOPLE THINK?" He screamed and ran out of the room, crying his eyes out.

This is all my fault. If we had just gotten home just a little sooner, if I hadn't run ahead of her, I would be in her postition and she would be watching me. Perfectly content and in perfect condition. I could barely watch her laying there, hardly breathing. Tears started streaming down my cheeks, I walked closer to her. Steve couldn't take it and ran out of the room like Two-Bit did.

I sat beside her and just watched her. She was so pale.

"Jamie, I know you hear me. I know you can hear me, now, you just listen! I'll talk, but you listen. Please don't do this. Please don't go..." I begged, "We need you. Two-Bit needs you, Steve needs you, I need you." I lowered my head and tried not to look at her so much. "We can't lose you. We've already lost two friends, we can't lose you too." I grabbed her hand, 'C'mon. You wouldn't leave us here. We can't live without you. Especially me, " Tears were coming too fast, "I was lost. You helped me a lot through my life nad if I lose you, I'll be lost all over again. It's not fair! I can't do this! Jamie I love you. I love you alot, Jamie. Just show me a sign, that you're gonna be alright." I waited for a moment and nothing happened.

This isn't fair. The only thing that could run through my mind was that my best friend, the one girl that I really love, might die. It could be today, tomorrow, or even the next day. But whatever the circumstances, until I hear from the doctors, I don't know how long she'll really last.

I leaned back, still holding her hand, and started bawling until I felt something. I looked down at our hands and her hand had tightened around mine.


End file.
